5 Phoenix Summer Rites of Passage

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If you’ve spent even one summer in Phoenix, you definitely know the drill. Here are five things that serve as badges of honor for surviving Arizona’s warmest season – if you dare to venture out of the air-conditioning, that is.

  1. Got sunburnt at the Salt River
    You’re literally floating down a river for hours with your body faced upward toward the unrelenting sun. It’s a nearly impossible feat to walk away without looking like a lobster.
  2. Burned yourself on your steering wheel/seatbelt
    In the middle of the summer, getting into a car that’s been parked in direct sunlight is like stepping into a sauna. Before you can even turn the ignition to blast the AC, you’ve already kicked yourself for forgetting to stow some oven mitts in the glove compartment.
  3. Joked about baking cookies on your dashboard
    If your seatbelt is scorching enough to burn your skin, your dashboard is probably hot enough to serve as a makeshift oven rack. When summer rolls around, this always comes up in conversations about the sweltering triple-digit temps. All joking aside, though, one Mesa man was actually successful in making this DIY dessert.
  4. Seen a dog wearing shoes
    This isn’t a fashion statement for Fido, it’s to ensure his paws don’t get burnt on the sizzling summer pavement. But that hasn’t stopped us from exclaiming some variation of “That dog’s wearing shoes!” every time we see someone’s pet sporting sneakers.
  5. Said “At least it’s a dry heat” in conversation
    Bantering about how hot it is in the summer is truly beating a dead horse, but we can’t stop ourselves from replying “At least it’s a dry heat” when literally anyone says something like, “It’s freakin’ hot.”
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