2021 Worst of the Valley

Editorial StaffJuly 6, 2021
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Weirdest Idea Published on a Mainstream News Website
Greg Moore’s Arizona Republic Jury Column

After a jury convicted former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin of murdering George Floyd, Republic columnist Moore – evidently irked by the jury’s 10-hour deliberation – opined that the U.S. should scrap unanimous-verdict criminal trials and speed things up with a simple majority-rule format. You know, like they had during Jim Crow. Call us nuts, but we imagine that might be bad for social justice, not the other way around.

Worst Demonization of Burritos
Shelby Houlihan

After failing a pre-Olympics drug test, the decorated American distance runner – and former ASU track and field star – blamed her elevated steroid count on “an authentic Mexican food truck that serves pig offal” near her house in Oregon, since pig organ meat supposedly contains high doses of a steroid called nandrolone. She’s out of the Olympics, but a Taco Bell endorsement deal seems feasible.

Cartoon by Greg Kearney

Most Craven No-Vote
U.S. Representative Andy Biggs

The Gilbert-based Congressman and parvenu Publisher’s Clearinghouse winner (he financed his first campaign with part of his $10 million sweepstakes haul) was one of 21 House Republicans who voted against awarding Congressional Gold Medals to the police officers who responded to the January 6 attack on the Capitol. Evidently we know where his extremist bread is buttered.

Most Embarrassing Arizona Politicians

Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D)

  • Curtsy-thumbs-down double whammy on the $15 minimum wage vote unnecessarily rankled her base.
  • Flaunted a “F*** Off” ring on Instagram while slurping a sangria. “Is she talking to us?” we all asked.
  • Pink newsboy caps, purple wigs, “Dangerous Creature” sweaters challenging presumption that a woman’s fashion choices are sacred.

Rep. Paul Gosar (R)

  • Openly panders to white nationalists, disavowed by his own siblings, promotes QAnon vote-stealing myths, verse, chorus, verse.
  • Seditiously characterized the death of pro-Trump rioter Ashli Babbitt as an “execution” by Capitol police.
  • Is basically the human embodiment of Sinema’s wardrobe.

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