Arizona’s Family meteorologist and man-at-large Ian Schwartz graduated from Arizona State University in the early 2000s, but he views himself as a lifelong student. For evidence, just look at the education he gave himself in the art of smash-burger cooking in anticipation of this BOV event. “The crispy wings [of caramelized meat and grease on the patty] is the most important part of a smash burger,” he says professorially. His other credentials: “I’ve been eating burgers since I attained consciousness. And I’m American.”
When & Where: Thursday, June 6, at the PHOENIX office. The tasting began at 1:21 p.m.
Tasting Rules: BOV staffers collected eight cheeseburgers from restaurants around the Valley on the day of the tasting. Only burgers billed as “smash burgers” or “smashed” were considered. The burgers were ordered “medium” if given the option. The tasting was blind.
1st round: Stoop Kid vs. 5th Street Burger & Fries
- “Wow, look at those wings,” Schwartz says, tearing off a piece of the Stoop Burger’s crispy halo and giving it a nibble. “The bun’s not too tall. Brioche, I think. This is a classic-looking smash burger.” getstoopkid.com
- “It has good flavor… but this is not really a smash burger,” the judge says of the 5th Street Burger entry, mulling the thick patty, which he deems “a little dry” and “sort of like an over-priced ballpark burger.” 5thstreetburger.com
Winner: Stoop Kid
With a combination of caramelized onions, dill pickle and dijonnaise over ground brisket, the Roosevelt Row upstart takes down the Tempe burger café in a quick first-round knockout.
1st round: Maple & Rye vs. Happy’s Hamburgers
- “Again, really not a smash burger,” Schwartz says disapprovingly of the Maple & Rye gastropub’s Classic Smash Burger. “The lettuce is sad. Overall, pretty forgettable.” mapleandryeaz.com
- “This one’s a little more smashy,” he says, eyeing Happy’s Double Signature cheeseburger. “Good flavor. The bun is good. You kind of have to search for the wings, though.” happyshamburgers.com
Winner: Happy’s Hamburgers
The Scottsdale burger favorite takes down the Surprise all-day diner, despite an imperfect delivery. “It could have used a little more crisp.”
Semifinal Winner: Stoop Kid
“This is tough, because the flavors are right around the same,” Schwartz says, before handing his judgment to Stoop Kid. “Probably because the crisp is more intact.”
1st round: Bad Jimmy’s vs. Tap House Sports Grill
- “This is not a beautiful burger, per se,” Schwartz decrees, studying the backyard-style Double Burger from Bad Jimmy’s. “It’s not a stacked-up Gordon Ramsay presentation. But you can hear it when you bite into it. Great smash burger.” badjimmys.com
- On the entry from Tap House, Schwartz makes an instant connection with the Surprise sports bar’s Tap House Classic. “Con bacon! And I taste a little crisp. Very flavorful. A little smoky, which could be the bacon. The sauce is great.” taphousesportsgrill.com
Winner: Bad Jimmy’s
In his most agonizing decision of the day, Schwartz picks the Downtown critical darling over the West Valley underdog, despite the “two levels of bacon” on the latter. “It’s like a
bacon condo.”
1st Round: Bare Knuckle Burger vs. Wren House Sudhalle
- Schwartz is not put off by Bare Knuckle Burger’s Brawler cheeseburger… but not blown away, either. “It’s good. Just not a ton of flavor, unfortunately. Any less smash and it wouldn’t be a smash.” tempefoodcourt.com
- “This one has Dijon mustard,” Schwartz observes after biting into the Ahwatukee beer pub’s Wren Burger. “The patty is pretty crispy. Sautéed onions. It’s different.” wrenhousebrewing.com/sudhalle
Winner: Wren House Sudhalle
Despite the mustard “overpowering the Thousand Island-y sauce deal” – perhaps intentional, given the brewpub’s Germanic theme – Schwartz advances the Wren House burger to the
next round.
Semifinal Winner: Bad Jimmy’s
“This crisp is palpable, the cheese is great. Terrific flavor. I gotta go with [Bad Jimmy’s],” Schwartz says.
Champion! Bad Jimmy’s
Ultimately, Bad Jimmy’s “wings” carry our judge onto a culinary cloud nine – with an assist from K4 Ranch Arizona beef, American cheese, diced onion and pickles between a Martin’s potato bun. “The bread-to-patty is perfect, too,” the newsman says. “It’s just so easy to eat.”
