The Best Little Whorehouse in Arizona

Written by Craig Outhier Category: Valley News Issue: September 2014
Group Free
Pin It

It was an offer Mayor Greg Stanton could easily refuse. Eyeing a win-win investment opportunity, Nevada brothel owner Dennis Hof wrote a letter to Stanton in July requesting permission to open a temporary house of ill repute in Phoenix during next year’s Super Bowl. His offer: $500,000. His rationale: Hey, prostitution will happen anyway, so why not undercut the human traffickers and whatnot?

Stanton, naturally, was unswayed. Bad for reelection prospects. But on the off chance he reconsiders, the following venues might do the, um, trick:

Heritage Square: Old-timey Victorian architecture perfectly suited for mobs of negligee-wearing “soiled doves.” Plus: Pizzeria Bianco afterward.

Chase Field: No baseball, and all those empty luxury boxes...

Westward Ho: No marketing budget? No problem. It says it all right there on the sign.


“The lowest mortality and morbidity is with seven hours. Eight hours or more has consistently been shown to be hazardous.”
 – ASU professor Shawn Youngstedt to the Wall Street Journal, discussing the finds of a university sleep study demonstrating that eight hours of nightly sleep can lead to health problems.


phoenix mercury, womens basketball

{Mercury Rising}
In the midst of an historically dominant 22-3 season (as of press time), the Phoenix Mercury have amassed a rather impressive statistical war chest. To wit:
With several weeks left in the season, 6-foot-8 center Brittney Griner had a league-record 97 blocks – more than six entire WNBA teams.
The team’s average point differential (+11.4) was fully 6 points higher than the next-best team, the Minnesota Lynx (+5.08).
The Mercury was still within striking distance of the league’s all-time best season record, set by the Houston Comets during the WNBA’s inaugural 1997 season (27-3).


Google Infamy-o-Meter
How did Arizona news stories trend nationally this summer? Judge by their Google hits.

Dogs found dead in Gilbert kennel - 18,000,000 hits

Botched execution of Arizona inmate John Woods - 2,670,000 hits

Cardinals linebacker John Abraham hit with DUI after all-day strip club binge - 1,900,000 hits

Arizona’s proposed Super Bowl brothel - 115,000 hits