Mars Needs Linen

Written by Keen Azariah Category: Lifestyle Issue: July 2014
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The recycled swag at Universal Furnishings & Offerings is out of this world.

From the infamous Phoenix Lights to the spaceship allegedly buried beneath Dreamy Draw Dam, Valley residents know their UFOs. The most tangible sighting yet: Universal Furnishings & Offerings, the central Phoenix brainchild of Leonardo Ramirez. With the help of upholsterer Juan Carlos Salcido and visual coordinator Corinne Wheeler, Ramirez makes a practice of abducting boring furniture, flying it to the outer limits of interstellar design, then returning it to earth beautifully revamped and unrecognizable – an ideology he calls “Recycletude.” Pieces at U.F.O. can range from homemade kaleidoscopes to vintage typewriters.

“Recycletude” {re’sike-la-tood} noun- A design philosophy that promotes converting previously used or unwanted items and resources into an artistic and/or useful form.

Does your current chair give you the Vulcan lumbar pinch every time you sit down to play video games? Well then, set your phasers to “stunning.” After arriving at U.F.O. as a faded, weathered, uninspiring candidate for a rummage sale, the “Captain Kirk” was born. Combining sparkly vinyl and mohair fabrics, this one-of-a-kind chair has enough aesthetic pizzazz to beam you up in style, and enough support to don your derrière comfortably for 16 straight hours of joystick manipulation. Game on! $950

Blending the wild harems of the African Savanna with the wild harems of Las Vegas, this dazzling two-piece is perfect for both your Saturday night sangria social, and your Sunday morning hangover hibernation. Whether you’re sitting or in the fetal position, glamorously conscious or fashionably unconscious, its reversible cushions, black flocked vinyl, and red patent leather piping will cradle you in comfort. $1,250 (3’x3’ Marilyn Monroe sand painting by artist Manuel Martinez: $1,450)
After finding its way to U.F.O. as a frame with some naked foam, the “Captain America” was redesigned, reworked and reborn into all its new retro-comic-book-hero splendor. And like the “Captain Kirk,” it blends shiny vinyl and mohair into a marvelous throne even Pope Francis might envy. Though this commanding chair emanates enough reverence and veneration to justify an audience in the Holy See, your TV lounge will suffice. $950
Is it an unearthed artifact proving the existence of ancient fashionauts? The restless spirit of an 18th-century Asian hairdresser? None of the above. She’s the Floating Goddess – 15 fabulous floating pounds of India-casted metal, and she’s just one of many unique inanimate abductees currently residing in U.F.O.’s inventory that would look great flying through your dining room. Not recommended for those frightened by contemporary Asian horror films. $325

UFO Furnishings & Offerings
3602 N. 16th St., Phoenix, 602-515-0837,